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Joke of the Day

"Look I'm not racist at all... My best friend was black until my dad sold him."

"I asked a gym instructor to teach me how to do the splits ... He said, ''How flexible are you''? I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays''."

"The Koala should be classified as a bear It has all the Koalafications"

"Q: What is the difference between an UNDERWEAR & a STAGE CURTAIN? A: When you pull down the STAGE CURTAIN, the show is over, but when you pull down the UNDERWEAR..... it's SHOWTIME!!!"

"What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)"

"BOSS: it's national replace H's with F's day ME: really? BOSS: yep, you're hired! ME: hahaha-wait BOSS: get out ME: what the huck?"

"How do you convey body language? With your figure of speech"

"*Rains pennies from heaven* *coins decimate the land [terrified scream] 'CHANGE IS IN THE AIR!'"

"Did you hear about the restroom for pencils? It's for #2 only."

"I once lived opposite a slaughterhouse. The view from my bedroom was offal."