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Joke of the Day

"I'm terrible at telling jokes I always mess up the punch limes"

"Way to make a friend an Idiot Question: What do you do when you take a girl home only to find she has the largest vagina in the world? Answer: I squeeeeeze it in off course!"

"*Judge raises hammer* ""I SENTENCE YOU TO LIFE"" -*defendant chuckles* ""I'm already alive you MORON!"""

"Did you know Stalin got hit in the groin with a potato when he was young? That's how he became a dictator."

"Why did the snowman have his pants down? Because he heard the snowblower was coming."

"On a scale of one to ten, guess how much I like golfing. Fore!"

"Girls are like internet domain names All the good ones are taken, so all we are left with are the strange foreign ones that nobody wants."

"Have a baby hold your cigarette for a minute and everybody loses their shit!"

"I'm not saying she's fat... ...but if I had to name the top five fattest people I know, she'd be three of them."

"I can't wait to find out what new undeleteable apps that I don't want will be on the new iPhone."