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Joke of the Day

"Took my dog to a bonfire and as he sat there staring at it blankly I realized he loves sticks. I was burning a giant pile of his toys."

"The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to ""watch a movie"" is actually watching a movie."

"A thug holds a gun to a dictionarys head and asks "" final words?"" the dictionary says ""zyzzyva."""

"She just didn't get that i was into fish. Geez"

"I just ate my weight in kidney beans! (I weigh eight ounces.)"

"When 2 people have sex it's called a twosome. When 3 people do it it's called a threesom I guess that's why they call me handsome... Edit: front page! Everyone hating on my joke can suck it"

"What's a feminist favorite ship? A CENSORSHIP"

"Super Mario is so unrealistic. No brother would ever help find his missing sister in law."

"Who is the new member of the X-MEN Caitlyn Jenner"

"Stellar hiring process HR. The new lady broke into song when being introduced to me. I give it 2 days before her first cat-related meltdown."