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Joke of the Day

"I met a Muslim man who said he had the Qur'an on DVD. The trouble started when I asked him to burn a copy for me."

"It's not enough to get up at 8 am & freeze on the soccer field. One must also scream from the sidelines so everyone knows you care."

"Did you hear the one about the invisible knife? I couldn't see the point!"

"What do you do when you see a Flock of Seagulls? You run. You run so far away."

"Can we all just agree that nothing needs to be connected to Facebook ever?"

"I think I have a sleeping disorder. It's called children"

"What do you call the pirate with the second largest penis? Long John Silver First of my original jokes to actually make my girlfriend chuckle."

"*gets pulled over* Officer: how high are u Me: no officer, it's hi, how are u"

"I shot a turkey for the first time today... Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen foods section."

"I'm as conflicted as a strip club addict with a glitter allergy."