66195

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a pig stuck in a topiary? A hedgehog."

"SCIENTIST: it's our thinnest toilet paper yet, sir. less than a picometer CEO: *rips it by breathing on it* put it in every public restroom"

"Why did the mule fail his math test? He was half-assing it"

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer recently. I don't know what he laced them with, but I'm still tripping."

"Beer is mankind's best invention ever, but the wheel is the most revolutionary."

"There it is again. That feeling that I'm the only one in line who's ever been to an airport before. It's uncanny."

"I just had to fire my Korean housekeeper... ...She kept trying to wok the dog."

"I need your parent's phone number so I can call you & hang up when they answer. Cause if I'm gonna crush on you, I'm doing it old school."

"I like a girl with words tattooed on her back. Gives me something to read while i'm in the shitter."

"What operating system does Varys have on his computer? Unix"