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Joke of the Day

"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer recently. I don't know what he laced them with, but I'm still tripping."

"Whats green, three inches long and smells like bacon? Kermit the frogs middle finger."

"Glad my dog is warning me about the child walking down the street catching snowflakes on his tongue. He seems sketchy."

"To trick people into thinking I understand things at a museum I stand in front of every painting and silently count to twenty."

"People can be so easy to read. Like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."

"Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter? Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B."

"Homophobia is stupid. Who the hell is afraid of homes."

"What did one dead American cop say to the other dead American cop? Waaazzzzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppppp."

"Chuck Norris' penis has a Ph.D in sexual education. It also has a pretty mean golf swing."

"What's the best part about banging Jessica Alba? You'll know if she was faking it."