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Joke of the Day

"How do you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you next Friday."

"What is the Similarity between McDonalds and Anal sex? When we were young, we were told McDonalds was fine for us. But when we grew up... we found out it wasn't at all!"

"A MEXICAN AND A BLACK MAN JUMP OFF A ROOF. WHO LANDS FIRST? A: WHO CARES"

"Two peanuts were walking through the bush... One was assaulted."

"What does a racist joke and a crime have in common? They both start with you looking over your shoulder."

"I don't believe in beating my kids, so I make them wear a Justin Bieber shirt & crocs to school so the other kids will do it for me."

"[talking to family after emergency surgery] Your positive energy saved my life Surgeon: *waves hand* umm hello"

"Me: Heeeeyyyyyy Judy, good morning! *scratches Judy's back, wiping off my Cheeto fingers* Judy: Hi!!! How are y..... Me: *walks away*"

"Air Bud seems like a great movie, until you realize some poor kid was cut from the team to make room on the roster for a golden retriever"

"What's the difference between a gay man and a refrigerator? The fridge don't fart when you pull meat out of it."