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Joke of the Day

"did you hear about the kidnapping at the high school? It's OK. He woke up."

"There were so many vampires at my Halloween party I lost Count. ]"

"Now remember kids; if a stranger offers you drugs say thank you because drugs are expensive ;)"

"What's the best way to make pants last? Make the jacket first."

"Did you hear the one about the gynecologist who was looking for a job? He could never find an opening."

"I keep hoping one day I'll be stuck on a 6-hour flight next to Flavor Flav just so I can ask him what time it is every five minutes."

"What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol? My record is 21 years."

"There was an episode of the Flintstones where a mechanic worked on Fred's car HEY FRED YOURE GETTING RIPPED OFF THERE IS NO ENGINE IN THERE"

"What do we say to Boris Johnson and Donald Trump running the world? Hair Hair!"

"Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving? A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster."