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Joke of the Day

"(Serious) What do you think Michael Hastings was working on before he died? slowing down his car. ... ... shoutout to r/conspiracy for this one."

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on."

"The paleo diet is to eat only foods cavemen would have eaten. So, fruity pebbles, cocoa pebbles, the oatmeal with little dinosaur eggs, etc."

"How can you tell male from female ants? Throw them in a bucket of water; if it floats, it's buoyant."

"I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser."

"Why does a VC always enter a room backwards? To keep an eye on the exit"

"Someone once told me ""If you love something, set it free"". I told them not to mind about those noises coming from the basement."

"Knock Knock... Knock Knock Who's there? I have runnyeep I have runnyeep who? hahaha! (You have to say it out loud to get it)"

"Remember when Disney used to produce cartoons, not teen sluts?"

"Why do I praise Neo? Because I'm autistic xD XDXD"