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Joke of the Day

"Going to Paris is like inverted anal sex. Wives are always trying to pressure their husbands into doing it."

"Oldie but a goodie Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper? He sold his soul to Santa."

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the other side."

"I will let you borrow any movie from my Pixar collection, except one. I'm never gonna give you Up."

"Somebody needs to wake up Green Day It's October 1st"

"I told my therapist I don't wanna see her anymore. She said from what she's learned, that means I'll fuck her 3 more times."

"I raise the bar when it comes to lowering standards."

"What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage? ""Let's knot."""

"Knock Knock Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin'. they hatin'."

"A guy was honking at a car ahead of him to speed up at 6AM so I followed him bc his job must be amazing if he's that excited to get to work."