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Joke of the Day

"Instructions for having an adventure: 1. Stand outside restaurant. 2. Wait for someone to ask if you're the valet. 3. Say yes."

"Today I asked the gamer what his new year's resolution is. He said ""1920 x 1200"""

"Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't!"

"My sister bet me a hundred dollars I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look on her face as I drove pasta... Yuk yuk yuk"

"Mad Cow Disease So two cows are talking in a field, The first cow says ""hey man, you worried about this mad cow disease that is going around?"" The second cow says ""Naw bro, I'm a helicopter."""

"How do you end a prayer to the Noodle God? Ramen."

"My mom just told me she's been watching that ""Game of Thongs"" show. Gawd I hope she's just saying it wrong."

"What is a store for dogs called? A Superbarket"

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? you can keep the tip."

"I can really only think of one thing worse than genocide. Jews."