65313

Joke of the Day

"Twitter is like a dog: There's always someone who loves you for you... there's also always someone who just peed in an inappropriate place."

"Whiteboy who needs a haircut Justin Beiber in the front, Duck Dynasty in the back"

"*logs on Facebook IT'S YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL BULLY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! *logs off WAIT COME BACK! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT YOUR EX'S ENGAGEMENT!"

"The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana."

"How do you write an essay that blows people away? With lots of drafts"

"So these lepers are playing ice hockey and he gets kicked off the team. Why? Because there was a face off on the ice."

"If you don't wear a seatbelt while on a plane, you might hit the seat in front of you when it smashes into the ground at terminal velocity."

"Ellen Degeneres Found Dead She Was Found Face Down In Ricki Lake :D"

"Why are the saxophone afraid of the trombone? Because the trombone is a sax offender."

"The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was that one night stand."