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Joke of the Day

"Oh no! I forgot to refrigerate this German sausage! Now it's totally become a spoiled brat."

"Pumpkin Cider? I hardly know her!"

"""...and I would've won if it weren't for you meddling minorities, women, gays, young people..."" - Mitt Romney #ScoobyDooVillain"

"I got the early bird special at Denny's. Don't do it, these worms taste like shit."

"In a group friends when you laugh you will always look at the person you like the most... Thats why I always sit next to a mirror."

"Me + Bed + Pillow = Best threesome ever."

"I had such a great masturbation session last night... that when I woke up in the morning my dick was in the kitchen cooking breakfast."

"Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time."

"Scientists are attempting to clone Ice Age Cave Lions because running into a raccoon when I take out the trash isn't scary enough."

"On CNN I just saw a headline that said ""Reddit Revolts"" My first thought was, ""Mr. CNN reporter. You don't know the internet very well do you. Reddit is revolting every day"""