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Joke of the Day

"[DARK HUMOUR] What do you call a fat baby? Quite a mouthful."

"Lawyer: ""What is your date of birth?"" Witness: ""July 15th."" Lawyer: ""What year?"" Witness: ""Every year."""

"Donald Trump for President."

"What was the last thing Arnold Schwarzenegger said before he was eaten by cannibals? ""I'll be snack."""

"One more glass of wine and my ""only a lesbian from the waist up"" rule is about to go out the window."

"What did the colon tell the large intestine after several hours' worth of diarrhoea? ""Get your shit together"""

"I always cry after sex. God, I fcuking hate prison!!!!!!!"

"Boys: I may not have the biggest boobs, but I sure do have the right number of 'em!"

"I imagine Jesus' first few attempts at walking on water to be little more than a frantic run and belly flop"

"Soon as I finish untangling these earphones I'm goin to google who made them & I'm going to ask them to invent shoelaces that tie themselves"