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Joke of the Day

"The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going"

"Girl: I think we should just be friends Me: ya okay, but I get to be Chandler!"

"its such a weird coincidence that all these young financial successes all have rich parents, despite being completely self-made"

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt!"

"Who was the first striker? Jesus. He went for the cross"

"A tearful Ray Romano raises the gun to his temple. 'not everybody' he whispers 'not everybody'"

"Why are Boy Scouts such great murderers? Because they leave no trace."

"MTV banning a video is kind of like a record store banning a book."

"Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker ""Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."""

"I like my men, like I like my subway A foot long."