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Joke of the Day
"What did the photographer say when he retired? ""I can't take it anymore!"""
Next Joke
"A lost & found note as a gesture of goodwill. Whoever lost a Rolex I report ""the time now is 20 minutes after seven"""
"If my dick were a card... (x-post from r/hearthstone) ...It'd have overload because you can't take it all at once."
"Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad he thought for a moment and replied ""no thanks, I'm a rocket man"""
"What currency do they use in space? Star Bucks."
"[neil degrasse tyson voice] the film is called Home Alone but thats actually a misnomer. in fact, kevin was joined in his home by 2 burglars"
"What do you call an angry German? A sauerkraut"
"Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds."
"it's almost as if one's education has nothing to do with learning how not to be an idiot"
"Two antennas fell in love.. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love, and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."