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Joke of the Day
"Nice try horror movies, but everyone in my generation is already terrified to answer their phones"
Next Joke
"[the cops release the cadaver sniffing dogs into my living room for the third time this week] ME: *pauses netflix* I told you I'm not dead!"
"Dont trust any kids asking for bread this Halloween. Theyre more than likely just ducks dressed up as kids. I wont fall for that again."
"Bad money What is the difference between an angry rabbit and a counterfeit dollar bill? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny."
"If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they'd make those tube things like 5 feet long."
"So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong... Killed 'em both."
"""You thinkin what I'm thinkin?"" ""That we should dance our way out of this street fight?"" ""Wait what?"" ""No time! Break on 8! And a 5 6 7 8."""
"I turn hot dog water into ice cubes for house guests I don't like"
"What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!"
"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? The porcupine has the pricks on the outside."