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Joke of the Day

"If Pringles really wanted the fun to never stop they'd make those tube things like 5 feet long."

"Me: *sneezes* Mom: Remember February 17, 2009 when I told you to bring a jacket?"

"Every woman I've ever been with only saw me the way they wanted to see me... ...in their rearview mirror."

"Literally thousands of chameleons in your house right now and you don't even know it."

"Why was Cinderella able to surf the web? Because he footman turned into a mouse."

"Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own."

"Why don't vampires go south of the border? Because every time they suck a Mexican's blood, they get the vshits for a month."

"I don't have a girlfriend but sometimes I like to pretend that I do; I just stand in my room screaming ""That's not what I said!"""

"How do you walk out of a Casino with $1 Million? Walk in with $2 Million."

"Early bird gets the worm 2nd mouse gets the cheese 3rd cow gets the grass All cows get to eat grass tho, theres not really a low supply."