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Joke of the Day
"When I say I'm gonna take a nap, it means I'm gonna go on my computer for three hours."
Next Joke
"I'm having a completely dry January... ...no foreplay whatsoever. (Stolen from Gary Delaney's show this evening - great show Gary!)"
"What replaces Steam, the gaming platform, in China? Pollution."
"I'm trying to switch from ""okay"" to ""OK"" but I can't figure out what to do with all this extra time on my hands"
"Hubby has an alarm app where you can record your own sounds or music to wake up to. I just changed his to ""THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!!"""
"What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One I like to crush with a sledgehammer till juice squirts out, the other is a watermelon"
"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."
"Why was the 'P' irate? Because his peg leg made him go 'R'"
"""Life"" is like a box of chocolates: they're both food that come in boxes"
"If Steve Rogers was a drink, what drink would he be? An Iced Cap"