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Joke of the Day

"I once put a baby in adult clothing and placed him on my desk with a water bottle labeled ""fountain of youth"" right next to him."

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"Bucks vs. Falcons REPORTER: Lovie, can you say something about your team's execution tonight? LOVIE SMITH: I think it would be a good idea!"
"I wanted to reserve a copy of a new novel coming out But they were all booked"
"Even reddit goes down more often... than my girlfriend."
"When's a door not a door? When it's ajar."
"*Snoop walks into a classroom* Snoop: Tell me about the Big Bong Theory Teacher: It's the Big Bang Theory *Snoops walks out disappointed*"
"When did intentionally misspelling words become a thing? Kewl? Gurl? You know what I dig? Literacy."
"Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator? He didn't want to see the salad dressing."
"Why do golfers bring an spare change of pants? Just in case they get a hole in one. Credit to /u/Diablo182"
"A grasshopper walks into a bar The bartender immediately says, ""Hey! We got a drink named after you!"" The grasshopper looks at him quizzically and says, ""You've got a drink named Leonard?"""