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Joke of the Day

"Do you hear about the 2 Irish gays? Michael Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzmichael."

"Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the bad part of town? One of them got assaulted."

"How does a redneck mom know her daughter is on the rag? Her son's dick tastes funny."

"Is Jon Stewart the Last Airbender? Because just when the world needed him most, he vanished."

"Did you hear the one about the gang that's throwing eggs at people and kicking their asses? No Yolks but that enough about the Beaters"

"How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for his birthday? He felt his presents."

"What do we want? SOME GOOD DECISIONS! When do we want them? BEFORE LAST NIGHT!"

"""Engagement"" can mean either planning to marry or initiating combat. Coincidence?"

"The Internet is like alcohol, it gives people courage."

"I got pulled over today for going 112 mph in a 55 mph zone. The police officer said ""I've been waiting for someone like you all day."" I promptly replied ""Well I got here as fast as I could!"""