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Joke of the Day
"Pregnancy I'm too smart to want children, but not smart enough to make *her* not want 'em."
Next Joke
"My daughter wanted me to treat her like a princess So I let her get stolen by a giant, mutant turtle."
"Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ? Because he didn't have enough guts"
"For Halloween I'm dressing up as a plate. Girls love to do dishes."
"Just spent 15 minutes explaining football to my 5-year-old daughter. Now I think I'll go explain health care reform to the cat."
"What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants? My iPhone 6"
"Remember when there were backyard gardens? Oh, those were good thymes."
"The Klu Lkux Klan... The original boys in the hood..."
"Brunos are from Mars, Freddies are from Mercury."
"Have you ever seen those ""Give a penny, take a penny"" things at convenience stores??? that makes no cents"