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Joke of the Day

"What did the traffic light say to the car? Don't look at me I'm changing."

"What's does Santa Clause and my wife have in common? They both come once every year."

"Don't you just hate it when you meet a hot girl, you look her up on Facebook and find there are fucking 150 + mutual friends and nobody told you about her. Thanks a lot assholes."

"WHO ARE YOU RUNNING FROM IN YOUR OWN APARTMENT YOU FAT MONSTER NEIGHBOR I shout to my ceiling."

"Yesterday i accidentally cut off the left side of my body! Im all right now."

"I know some folks who could use a 12 step program. Where 11 of those steps should be to the edge of a cliff."

"What's common between Hitler and Taco Bell Both are responsible for gassing lots of people. _________ Source: http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/skeh8/taco_bell_on_420/c4eqbvj?context=2"

"Which UK party will the sleeping pigs be voting for in May? The Lay-Boar Party."

"My boss fired an employee unexpectedly today and everyone wants to know why... I think it's because he was caught with a bag of cocaine. But regardless, our boss told us to keep our noses out of it."

"I like my girls how I like my wine Ten-fifteen years old and locked in my basement."