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Joke of the Day

"Apparently people keep mistaking me for their Mirrors because they keep saying I'm ugly or fat"

"A lot of people have a fear of flying. Not me. I have a fear of crashing and dying. #pussies #imbrave"

"Boss: Anyone have anything else to add to this meeting? Me: Yes. I am awesome. Boss.... Me: Write that shit down."

"Patient goes to the doctor about his obesity... He says ""It's not my fault doctor, obesity runs in my family."" Doctor replies, ""No the problem is no one runs in your family."""

"Why can't French people count to 5? Because there's a **tree** in the way."

"If Jesus could see the way some Christians act today He'd be rolling in his grave"

"Does it creep anyone else out that Donald Duck eats a turkey dinner on 'Once Upon A Christmas'? Isn't that a form of cannibalism?"

"What soup weighs the most? Wanton soup. I'll leave now."

"I want to give a shoutout to sidewalks For keeping me off the streets."

"I saw a man hitting on a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one!"