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Joke of the Day

"Does it creep anyone else out that Donald Duck eats a turkey dinner on 'Once Upon A Christmas'? Isn't that a form of cannibalism?"

"We think you may have a phobia of marriage Doctor: We think you may have a phobia of marriage. Do you know what the symptoms are? Me: I can't say I do. Doctor: That's one of the symptoms, yes."

"""Dumb as a bag of hammers"" is kind of a stupid comparison because it's actually quite a clever way to carry several hammers at once."

"What's the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick up someone's ass"

"A joke about pi? Nah this joke just goes on forever -------------------"

"How did you get those horrible burns? *flashback to me enjoying some hot soup on a rollercoaster* I saved a litter of puppies from a fire."

"When Pink Floyd sings, ""just another brick in the wall,"" it's a little bit demeaning to bricks."

"I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you."

"What do you give an injured alligator? Gatorade"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To knock knock on the door, walk into the bar and change the lightbulb."