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Joke of the Day

"A bear walks into a bar... And he goes up the barman, rests his elbows on the bar, and says ""I'll have a pint... ... of beer please."" And the barman says, ""Why the big pause?"""

"*Queen bee in hive* ""You, go pollinate flowers"" ""You, go make some honey"" ""You, go buzz around some humans and ruin their picnic lol"""

"Apparently sleeping your way to the top doesn't mean dozing off in meetings or taking naps in the copier room."

"Why was 56 scared? Because 28 8 1."

"One time I asked, ""What would Jesus do?"". That's the same day I almost drowned."

"What would you get if you crossed a witch with a famous movie director? Steven Spellberg!"

"How many violent revolutions does it take to change a lightbulb? Violent revolutions never change anything."

"How many people do you have to kick out of their houses to have a World Cup? Brazilians!"

"What's the opposite of irony? Wrinkly."

"Why don't Polish mothers breast feed their babies? They hate to boil their nipples."