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Joke of the Day
"How do you find a British person in a crowd? 1. Shout 0800 00 2. Wait for them to shout 1066."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between America and yoghurt? If you leave yoghurt alone for 200 years it develops a culture."
"White people can't say the N word, but we DO get to say things like, ""Thanks Dad"" and, "" Thanks for the warning, Officer."""
"Bring a Knife on a Date! When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."
"I wanted the day off work today so I phoned my boss to tell him I was sick... He said ""You don't sound sick."" I said ""I'm fucking my sister, is that sick enough for you?"" Well... I got the day off."
"What is an astronomer's favorite drink? *Star*bucks. [Sorry.](https://sarahk18.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/happy-ba-dum-tss-l.jpg)"
"Woke up and saw my shadow and it looked fat. Six more weeks of self-loathing."
"""Give it to me!! I'm so fucking wet!"" She screamed at me... ""Fuck off. This is MY umbrella."""
"What do you call a gay tramp? Hobosexual"
"Only use ""extra virgin"" to describe olive oil that doesn't even think about fucking."