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Joke of the Day

"My friends were deciding how much alcohol to get... One of them wanted one fifth and another one wanted to get five fifths. We decided on a 3/5ths compromise."

"What do Kiwi nuclear engineers eat? Fusion chups."

"How many men does it take to close the toilet seat? No one knows yet!"

"Did you hear the one about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog"

"Slugs are obviously snails that have been through a divorce."

"If Paula Deen's new cookbook isn't titled 'Fifty Shades of Gravy', I'm going to lose a considerable amount of money on the bet I just made."

"I hope the mysterious food thief at the office enjoys the dog food marinara and Jello with my toenail clippings I made for him/her."

"What did the Imam say after he was replaced by immigrants? They took my hijab!"

"What's the difference between gay men and a refrigerator? Fridges don't fart when you pull the meat out."

"So Porifera are hanging out in the ocean 680 million years ago.. ..when a Ctenophore swims by. One to the other asks, ""What just happened there?"" Buddy says ""Eumetazoa."""