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Joke of the Day

"I wanted to tell a Lord of the Rings joke.... but all the good ones Aragorn"

"Why are the sheep in Africa coloured pink? The elephants are using them as tampons"

"I eat so much bacon my friends gave me a nickname... Kermit the frog."

"Bishop to the Pope: Congratulations on your name's day Your Holiness! - Pope: But today we do not commemorate the name of Benedict? - Bishop: It is the 16th, though."

"""How did your *looks down at notes scribbled on hand* favorite sports team do in their *looks down again* sporting contest today?"""

"My dad went to Vietnam He single-handedly shot and killed 32 north vietnamese. Next year we're going on vacation somewhere else. Edit: spelling"

"How do you know if a fortune-teller is shit? You knock on her door and she shouts ""Who is it?""."

"Rape Baby A guy goes to job interview. His employer asks how his parents met. He says he is a rape baby. The boss asks if he mom is Christen. The guy asks how do you know?"

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball She choked"

"Started to feel bad about my life but just saw a bumper sticker that said ""I Love My Grand-dog"" and I think l'm going to be ok."