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Joke of the Day

"Pancake in Spanish is panqueque, which translates back into English as *does raise the roof motion* bread whaaaat whaaaat"

"My first middle-school football game was just like the time i lost my virginity. Bloody and dirty, but at least my dad came."

"How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they like to keep the mods in the dark."

"one time this girl pulled me close & said ""I'm the girl your mom warned you about"" & I said ""so you chose bulbasaur as your starter pokemon"""

"What's the worst gear for America? Cruz control."

"i'm actually pretty attractive if you never compare me to anyone ever"

"Q: What is the most military day of the year? A: March 4th."

"What's a porn stars favorite drink? 7up in cider"

"Why is there an eject button on the DVD remote? You still have to get up & take the disc out. It's like having a remote to open the fridge."

"i wear glasses n walk around eating apples n everyone is like ""wow. he prolly subscribes 2 the economist"" but joke's on them i can't read"