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Joke of the Day

"Always carry $100,000 cash on you at all times in case you ever feel like getting a sandwich from an airport."

"What did the winner of the weak muscles competition get? Atrophy."

"Why do the Lannisters have such large beds? They put two twins together to make a king."

"Help me doctor, I have a bowel movement every morning at 7! Doctor: Well that's good, it means you're healthy. Man: You'd think so, but I don't wake up until 8am!"

"What's a British student's favourite drink? M.I.Tea"

"Simpsons TapOut/Awesome Best game out in long time. I'm so addicted to it that it seems to be a issue with my relationship. Lol!!!"

"What's fourteen inches and white? Nothing."

"Mobile tweeting with 3% battery is a lot like the band playing while the titanic sank"

"What nationality are Sprinters? They Russian. I'll also see myself out."

"What do you call a happy cowboy? A jolly rancher! Hahahahahahahahah you guys have no idea how alone I am."