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Joke of the Day

"Help me doctor, I have a bowel movement every morning at 7! Doctor: Well that's good, it means you're healthy. Man: You'd think so, but I don't wake up until 8am!"

"Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. ""Oy Abraham I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse"". ""Ssh!"" hisses the other ""It's not till next week""."

"Why Derrick Rose's Rape Allegations Won't Stick. ""Just like his knees, it won't hold up in court"""

"How are babies different from feminists? Babies grow up and stop crying."

"Whenever I meet a Jim I ask, ""is that short for Jimberly?"" and I have few friends in real life."

"If I had a nickel for every time I had a nickel I would just continue getting nickels until I had all the nickels."

"Old Chinese Proverb Says ""Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok"""

"What do you call? What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts What do you call nuts on a chest? Chestnuts What do you call nuts on a chin? A dick in the mouth"

"Are you from the 316? Because you're an stone cold stunner. Edit: Stone not ice Thanks /u/cvillemade"

"Me: There's a real fat one on the other team! Her: ""My son's not fat!"" How you know I was talking about him? ""Cuz he's the.."" Fat one? ""Ya."""