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Joke of the Day

"Your Google Self-Driving car should be taken away if you don't let your dog sit in the driver's seat while you hold a map riding shotgun."

Next Joke
 
"..so in a technical sense, they're only relatively bad. My jokes are so bad, they sometimes appear to violate causality.."
"So anyway, one of my favorite pastimes is not drowning."
"I like my women like I like my calzones Somewhat crusty on the outer part and really gooey and cheesy on the inner part."
"""Honey, I'm pregnant"" ""Are you kidding me?"" ""That's another way of saying it, I guess, yeah"""
"*nervously adjusts fedora in Starbucks lineup I'll have uh, um, a mediu- I mean vanti, uh, mochacachito? Patrons: HE'S A FRAUD! GET HIM!!!"
"joe: siri address me as poopyhead siri: okay poopyhead *obama enters* barack: joe have you seen my phone? joe: yep here *runs away giggling*"
"How to Get There by Ridya Bike"
"How do you spell me? ""M E."" ""No you forgot the D."" ""There's no D in me."" ""Not yet."" It's a classic, my friend got me with this right after I got him with the ""duck weigh""."
"Magic A magician is driving down a road and turns into a driveway."