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Joke of the Day
"ME: Lord, what have I done to deserve this GOD: *unfurls a scroll that keeps going for miles* Well"
Next Joke
"I store drugs right under my nose Don't believe me? Check my stash"
"Quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail is as easy as 1-2-5"
"I hate tacos! Said no Juan ever."
"I decided to be vegan! Until I realized that it was a missed steak"
"Micheal J. Fox made a Twitch account. He doesn't play games, he just sits there."
"My mate Dave is living the dream. He's in a coma..."
"Bill: I hope Hillary will have better interns in the Oval Office than I did. All of mine sucked."
"[One to tell militant women]: how many women on their period does it take to screw in a lightbulb? [Meekly] ^just ^one..."
"Some people have no respect. It's obvious I'm on my phone trying to do something & this guys all ""STEP OUT OF THE CAR WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"""