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Joke of the Day

"When buying baked goods I always ask myself, ""are you prepared to eat this in the parking lot?"""

"I follow my mother's advice and make little things count... Although I'm not sure if she meant me teaching midgets math."

"Why did that guy shoot up the church in South Carolina? He thought it was the white thing to do."

"Spreading a woman's legs is like spreading butter... It can be done with a credit card, but I prefer to use a knife."

"When it comes to stealing chocolate bars... I have a couple twix up my sleeve"

"Someone at Sony Studios was arrested for having a bomb in his backpack. He was released after it was determined that it was the script for Ghostbusters"

"What do you do when a Chemist dies? You Barium."

"If you love her, let her go out drinking with her friends.. If she calls you drunk, she is yours.. If she turns off her cell, she never was."

"I am so smart and good at arguments.. I am so smart and good at arguments, that in the end I end up beating myself!"

"Never gonna be as big as ED BASSMASTER but alright with me! Never gonna be Never gonna be as big as ED!"