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Joke of the Day

"Never gonna be as big as ED BASSMASTER but alright with me! Never gonna be Never gonna be as big as ED!"

"When someone asks me to think outside the box. I think about anal sex."

"Remember when parents said ""I'll give you something to cry about"" & were scared they'd hit us but they destroyed the housing market instead?"

"Interviewer: Why did you apply for this job? Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me."

"What's scarier than Donald Trump becoming president? Bernie Sanders becoming president."

"ME: I wish I was a little bit taller GENIE: done M: I wish I was a baller G: done M: I wish I knew the rest of the lyrics G: done M: dammit"

"I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie"

"All I'm saying is there's a reason all the best love songs have the word crazy in them..."

"I'm reading a book about sufferers of tourettes syndrome... I want to know what makes them tic."

"The world would be a better place if we all got along like the ""Price is Right"" audience."