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Joke of the Day

"Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping."

"I always heard that if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it. But now you're telling me that babies don't like it?"

"""I suppose you have to live somewhere."" - A more accurate motto for the state of Utah."

"(pretending to be well-read to impress a girl) War and Peace? Yeah I loved that one ""What was your favorite part?"" I'd have to say the Peace"

"How many girlfriends does it take to change a light bulb? It has to change for itself."

"Human Cannonball Following the tragic death of the human cannonball at the local fair, a spokesman said, ""We'll struggle to get another man of his calibre""."

"Son asks his father... Son: Dad, how do you feel about abortion? Dad: Ask your brother. Son: But I don't have a brother. Dad: Exactly."

"Why were Indians the first people in America? Because they had reservations."

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves..... Free"

"Dear middle finger: thank you for always sticking up for me."