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Joke of the Day

"Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping."

"Things to do before I start the thing I am supposed to be doing: All of the things."

"And the award for best neckwear goes to... Well, would you look at that... It's a tie."

"I tried writing some jokes on Weed But I was too high to remember to write them down"

"A student was writing all his answers in ||||| format... Teacher: What are you doing? Student: I am writing all my answers in bar code, so that no one can copy it... New Method of Answer"

"I'm not saying it's hard for me to lose weight, I'm just saying if you interrupt me when I'm eating I'm starting over."

"Nokia But it's my Kia"

"Avoided a copay by having my annual physical at Antiques Roadshow. Clean bill of health, plus I found out I'm worth $150."

"What sexual position makes the ugliest babies? Ask your mom"

"Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over 100 times with the vacuum at different angles."