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Joke of the Day

"[courtroom, on witness stand] Prosecuting attny: If you think she's poisoning you, why did you eat it? Me: It was pizza [jury nods, murmurs]"

"I think winning the war on drugs is impossible. I struggle just to tie my shoelaces on drugs."

"Why Does Captain Kirk Have 3 Ears? He's got his left ear, his right ear...and the final front ear."

"I've heard of a chicken coop... But turkey coups must be the new thing"

"It's always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, ""I love you"" and they're like, ""thank you for choosing Domino's."""

"If you're ever cold, just stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."

"Two guys walk into a bar... the third one ducks."

"Did you hear about the guy that ran the erectile dysfunction support group? He had to disband the group because he couldn't raise enough members."

"What's the difference between pink and purple? The grip"

"something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don't do this.it's a rhombus. u don't care"