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Joke of the Day

"How do you ask an Uber driver if he drives for Lyft, too? Do you even Lyft bro? (I'll see myself out)"

"Yo mama's so intrinsic she compounds daily. All my finance majors out there."

"*pets your eyebrows* there, there caterpillar; everything will be ok"

"I found some pictures of little trolls that were taken a long time ago They're ol'-imp-pics"

"Strange how FB doesn't automatically add the enemies of your enemies as your friends,"

"Frownie wink wins for most confusing emoji ;("

"What was Mussolini's favourite dessert? Tyranisu"

"I kicked my rear-view mirror addiction... I'm never looking back."

"Son: ""I got expelled"" Dad: ""How?"" Son: ""I wrote 2 + 2 = 41 on the whiteboard."" Dad: ""That's pretty dumb but-"" Son: ""Then my teacher told me to go up to the board..."" Dad: ""Ok?"" Son: ""And rub 1 out."""

"My son just referred to a beaver as a ""wood-eater"". So I mulled it over in my mind for a bit and it would seem he's correct on two levels."