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Joke of the Day

"A man can survive up to two weeks without water, around forty days without food, and about one hour without touching his junk."

"I like my women like I like my beard Big, bushy, and sitting on my face."

"A pirate walks into a bar ... ... and the bird on his shoulder is saying ""Pieces of Nine. Pieces of Nine"". It was a parroty error."

"My husband went camping w/ his buddies. He packed a hatchet, 2 liters of Jack & a 3yo's Hello Kitty sleeping bag. He's gonna die out there."

"how do you start a rave in Ethiopia? you put a piece of bread on the ceiling"

"Never trust acupuncturists they are backstabbers"

"I swallowed two pieces of string yesterday I shit you knot"

"Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker ""Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."""

"She sells sea shells, to multi-national oil drilling companies who use them as their logo, by the sea shore."

"Heard about the public speaker with the rodent up his butt? He had to cancel a speech because he was gerbily constipated."