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Joke of the Day

"I dared my little brother to lick my dad's ass, and he did. So he dared me to lick my sister's pussy. Just FYI, the ass is called Toots and my sister's cat is Mr. Pickle. We're both 9 and 12"

"I named my penis ""Secret"" Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman"

"A grandpa tells his grandson ""Your generation depends too much on technology."" The grandson unplugs his grandpa's life support."

"What's the difference between Nicole Simpson and Princess Dianna? Princess Di was killed ~ by a white man ~ in a black car."

"Snail Boss: under skills you've put 'quick reflexes' Snail: [2 hours later] that's right SB: [3 hours later] holy heck, when can you start?"

"Guy walks into his house with a duck under his arm. His wife's standing there. He says ""This is the pig I've been fucking""."

"She : I Love Kids He : I Love The Process"

"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"[consoling grieving widow] so I guess you'll be looking for a new owner for his pokemon collection?"

"Cop: Why were you speeding? Me: SHE'S IN LABOR! Cop: That's a beach ball in a wig. Me: Cop: Me: I don't think I'm the father. Cop: Get out."