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Joke of the Day

"Santa accidentally ran over a man. The poor fellow was sleigh-n."

"2nd Rule of Parent Club: If your kid suddenly says ""I think I'd better wash my hands"", don't question them. I repeat, DO NOT QUESTION THEM."

"Sex through the ages: Age 20-30: Tri-weekly Age 30-40: Try weekly Age 40-50: Try weakly"

"911: What's your emergency? Me: Are you guys hiring? 911: This is an emergency line. Me: No shit. Why do you think I'm calling?"

"The parachute making business must be great! Because nobody ever comes back to complain about a failed chute!"

"There's a theory that Princess Diana had dandruff. They found her head and shoulders in the dashboard."

"50 cent files for bankruptcy He only had 50 cent"

"How do you know a joke isn't a repost? When it doesn't reach the front page."

"Me blacking out when I'm drunk is God's way of telling me that what I do when I drink is none of my business."

"""I think you'll like her. She's smart, funny, and a libra"" I've never met a libra *is super disappointed when date isn't a lion zebra mix*"