62472

Joke of the Day

"Sorry a lot of sand came out of my sleeve when I shook your hand; I went to the beach six years ago."

"My girl threw this one at me right before bed: ""Do you know why I don't like going to the dentist?"" Because they always do a full cavity search!"

"What thought can you easily share with someone else without using words? That you **had** to fart."

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts."

"Geologists have jokes too Steve: ""Hey, what kind of rocks are these?"" Geologist: ""They're sex stones."" Steve: ""What? Really?"" Geologist: ""Yeah. They're just fucking rocks."""

"If you love something set it free. If it comes back, celebrate with some delicious tacos. If it doesn't that's twice the tacos for you."

"I can't wait 'til my kids leave home. I've got so much swearing to catch up on."

"A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. The librarian says, ""It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape North Korea's long range missiles."

"Twitter goes over capacity more than Kirstie Alley's home elevator."