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Joke of the Day
"[Dark] What is black on the bottom and white on top? Society."
Next Joke
"What disease is most easily contracted by touching your hands together? The clap."
"""No points, illegal kick to the face."" ""But I'm the hero of this movie."" ""Fair enough, here's your trophy."" -The Karate Kid"
"Ugh, Amazon Prime takes two whole days for delivery. I wish there was a way I could buy things and get them immediately."
"Her: have you had the sex talk with our son yet? Me: *looks over at son wearing crocs* I think we can wait a few years"
"[the boss walks by my desk and catches me looking at sonic anime] Me: the hackers are at it again. I was trying to visit church. com"
"Not sure if I want buns of steel, or buns of cinnamon."
"Why was the Nun admitted to rehab.... Because she had a habit! I'll just show myself out"
"Polish math prodigy Knock knock! Who's there? Polish math prodigy with slurred speech. Polish math prodigy with slurred speech who? Toomasz Whizzski"
"What did they call the sad little fish poop with no father? A bass turd."