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Joke of the Day

"Why did the skeleton's dick float? because he had a hollow weenie."

"Why are there no cats on mars? Curiosity."

"""I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE,"" I scream, as a sudden gust of wind blows the spider I threw outside onto my face."

"I wish my lawn were a depressed emo so it would just cut itself."

"Why did the vampire go to hospital? He wanted his ghoulstones removed."

"Are there any prostitutes you can hire just to talk to you??? Apparently they are called therapist."

"What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette."

"There needs to be a universal hand signal to let people know they still have their blinker on. Mouthing ""you're dead asshole"" isn't working."

"Our bank manager can't ride a bike any more. Why not? He lost his balance."

"I talk a lot of shit for someone who still uses their fingers to count."