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Joke of the Day

"After a number of meetings and discussions, a blonde 18-year-old was dismissed from FFA, the Future Farmers of America group. She couldn't keep her calves together."

"People who say they're in the best shape of their lives are usually about to die."

"I'll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions."

"My mother's maiden name is Password"

"And then the God said: ""Noah, make a backup. I'm going to format"""

"My Chinese friend got me an iPad for my birthday... Nothing beats a homemade gift!"

"Friend of mine was shot at the bakery today, he is expected to make a full recovery. They say he was lucky it just glazed him, donut who did it but the cops are there."

"Did you hear about the biggest breakfast ever served? Back in the 1940's, some guy made over 6 million jews toast."

"My boss always calls me Sweetypie when he wants me to get him coffee..I estimate he's swallowed a bucket of my spit in the last 4 years.."

"Marry a man who surrounds himself with good weather and can provide good weather for you and your children."