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Joke of the Day
"Which is the best kind of dinosaur to play hide & seek with? An I-Don't-Think- He-Saurus"
Next Joke
"wher did the waitress work IHOP"
"Her: Dude, back off. You're totally scaring away all the hot guys checking me out at the gym. Me: You do realize I'm your boyfriend right?"
"What do you do if you find a black mamba in your toilet? Wait until he's finished."
"Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners? Because usually they're stuck with reservations."
"POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: is this the man who robbed u *holds up picture of himself* ME: yes POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: give me ur wallet ME: dang it"
"I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas."
"What do you call it when you open a soda for a buddy who is in outer space? An astrofizzassist."
"Starting Salary"
"Woke up to 5:15am phone reminder telling me I need to set my alarm for 8am. Thanks last night drunk self. This is why we don't have friends."