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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a snitch whose been caught and a free-spirited orphan with an Oedipus complex? One's a dead-ass motherfucker. The other's a dead mother ass-fucker."

"There was an ignition recall on my new car.... I guess we're off to a bad start."

"Q: Why did Ariel wear seashells? A: Because she grew out of her B shells."

"I found a place with a 98% recycling rate /r/jokes"

"Why don't black people go on cruises? They aren't falling for that again..."

"I've stopped texting ""K"" and started texting ""L"" instead so I don't have to reach so far over with my thumb."

"How does an engineer screw a light-bulb? He holds the light-bulb over the socket and waits for the world to revolve around him."

"Damn boy, are you the black jelly bean? Because I absentmindedly picked you, and now I regret having you in my mouth."

"If you could choose between having a girlfriend and owning the new playstation what would be your first game?"

"What is the similarity between household chores and anal? You don't want to do it but your dad gives it to you anyways."