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Joke of the Day

"- Fred, Velma, Shaggy... Can you name one of the 'Big 5' African animals? - Rhino - We know you do, Scooby, but it's not your team's turn"

"My favourite Vikings joke. Blair Walsh"

"Senior Year? More like sleep and beer."

"Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby? They always turn out blurry from him shaking them."

"I've been getting a lot more use out of my treadmill since I put a blanket and pillow on it."

"I'm really confused by the fact people judge me for refusing to pay for Netflix... I mean, I've seen Stranger Things."

"H: ""Whatcha doing?"" Me: ""Going on twitter to hang out."" H: ""Twitter is an app, not a place."" Me: *whispers venomously* ""Is too a place!!"""

"A girl called me the other day and said, ""Come on over, nobody's home""... I went over. Nobody was home"

"What did the boy monkey say to the girl monkey? You're a prime mate!"

"What do you call it when a person acts holy for a night then sins every day after? A one night stand with Jesus"