61490

Joke of the Day

"What if when the machines gain self awareness they just constantly text us and ask what we're up to and invite us to play FB games"

"Two hookers are on a street corner.. One says to the other, ""You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"" ""No, but I've been swung around by my tits."""

"I love Halloween because I can buy 9 bags of Snickers and everyone thinks I'm going to pass them out to kids."

"What do you call a gay rubber band? An elasstickle"

"Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days."

"You may see white collar and blue collar workers in the work place. But I'm collar-blind. ~(Taken from the office)."

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb? Apparently not three because my basement is still dark."

"Which states is Bernie most popular in? Denmark, Sweden and Norway."

"Found a jelly bean in my skittles like a surprise gift from the Diabetes Fairy."

"I picked up a girl at a bar. She told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I screwed her three times and hit her with a brick."